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Likeability

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We, as Americans, cherish the freedom and right to disagree—which we do, often deeply about important issues that need resolution. But polarization undermines that freedom by tightening prejudices rather than opening thought, thus diminishing the chances for finding resolutions and moving forward.  So while polarization may feel like a righteous champion of freedom and right, it is in fact just the opposite—a stick jammed in the spokes of the democratic discourse of freedom. Here are some of the common ways it does it:

  1. SEDUCES with loaded, heated language and childish name-calling that appeals more to emotion that reason.
  2. BLINKERS by using cherry-picked facts, and ignoring or mocking opposing arguments and evidence rather than actually addressing them.
  3. TRIVIALIZES by focusing on “straw-man” issues whose value in re-enforcing biases is clearly greater than their substance.
  4. BULLIES by making you feel like a dupe or a traitor if you even listen to the other side.
  5. FLATTERS with language and a tone that makes you feel like an insider, who, of course, agrees with them because you “get it” … just like they do.
  6. FRIGHTENS by portraying the other side as not just wrong, but a dangerous, evil enemy, replete with wicked hidden agendas.
  7. “CLANS,” that is, plays the “us vs. them” identity politics game of associating the other view with groups or people (implicitly) “inferior” to “us.”
  8. “TRIBES” by using the knowing winks and nods of sarcasm, coded language, words in quotes (suggesting they’re misleading) and innuendo which you, as a member of the tribe, of course, will understand without explanation or justification.

This week . . . after Labor day, as the “official” election season begins to lift off, there is a term popping up in the pundit chatter that is conspicuous in its refreshing banality: “Likeability.” Used perhaps most often in the surprisingly competitive Texas senate race, it seems to suggest more than simply personal appeal. Yes, I may be grasping at straws, but I think it could hint at a growing desire for the kind of civil discourse, rational thought and non-combative debate that is so lacking these days.

In response to a question about NFL kneeling, Democratic Texas Senate candidate Beto O’Rourke, whose “likeability” is said to be presenting incumbent Republican Ted Cruz with an unexpected challenge, prefaced his response with this:

“Reasonable people can disagree on this issue. Let’s begin there. And it makes them no less American to come down to a different conclusion on this issue.”

Whatever your position, party or ideology, that is something every candidate from every party should be comfortable saying. To do that may make them more “likeable.” But I think that’s an understatement. To me, it makes them more serious, more deserving of office, more American. And, therefore, more politically competitive? I.e., perhaps civility is finally emerging a political asset.

When reading these examples, check the above list and ask yourself: regardless of whether you agree or disagree, is this really advancing an intelligent resolution through the persuasive, rational arguments of advocacy…or simply fueling the fire of conflict through the divisive, emotional manipulations of polarization?

Here are a few of the (“unlikeable?”) blue and red polarizing headlines the past week.

More to explore

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