1:1 Conversations

A novel way for Americans with different backgrounds to connect as people and as citizens who are concerned for our country.

The process involves one or two hour-long conversations between two people using a structured conversation guide. The goals are to better understand the experiences, feelings, and beliefs of the other person, discover any areas of commonality, and share ideas for how to bridge differences across our country. NEW Slideshow! Individuals share their 1:1 experiences

Questions?

For questions, contact the 1:1 Conversations Team at 1-1@braverangels.org

Since 2020, there have been over 2000 conversations held by pairs!

The Process

Emphasizes storytelling, listening and learning.
Both people say their piece. Neither is teaching the other or giving feedback about how to think or say things differently.
Participants take turns answering a series of questions of increasing depth, with the other person listening without interrupting, then responding with what they learned about the other’s views and experiences, and seeing if there is something in common.
Usually ends with both people coming up with action ideas to make a difference.
After the structured conversations are over, participants often decide to continue talking to each other in unstructured conversations. This allows them to dig deeper into issues, ask the other’s opinion about current events, and keep up with their partner’s health, pets, children, grandchildren, hobbies, etc.

Conversation Types

The Golden Rule

Connecting people across one of our differences for a discussion about The Golden Rule

Red/Blue

Connecting one conservative and one liberal/progressive to share what each believe and want for the country

Rural/Urban

Connecting one rural or small-town dweller with one person from an urban or suburban area to better understand each other’s worlds

Braver Dogs

This conversation is a version of the 1:1 Golden Rule conversation for two people while walking their dogs! Since it is done locally, you find your own conversation partner among nearby dog owners. Write us at 1-1@braverangels.org and let us know how it goes!

Conversation Guide

Conversation About Race, Ethnicity and Culture

Connecting two people from different racial, ethnic or cultural groups

Conversation Across Generations

Connecting one person 18-30 years old with one person 61+ years old

Conversation about Israeli-Palestinian Relations

Conversation type 1 connects an Israeli-leaning person with a Palestinian-leaning one. Type 2 connects two Jews who disagree on Israeli government policy toward Palestinians.

Photo credit: Philip Street/CBC

"If you’re thinking of participating in 1:1 conversations, just jump on into it! You’ll be glad for the experience!"

"I think of each conversation as a sturdy brick. A brick is a small thing, but thousands of bricks together–thousands of pairs of people talking to each other–can build a mighty bridge."

"This was a great experience. It demonstrates how the world is changed: one person at a time from the inside out."

Participate

Step 1: Read and Listen to the Introduction

Please listen to Braver Angels co-founder Bill Doherty’s 2.5 minute audio introduction.

Read ‘It’s About Relationships’, an optional 2-minute article by Donna N. Murphy.

Step 2: Pairing Up with a Conversation Partner

You can either find your own conversation partner, click here to fill out a form for us to find you a partner for one of the first five conversations, or click here to fill out a form for us to find you a partner for the 1:1 Conversation About Israeli-Palestinian Relations.

Our ability to pair you depends entirely on who else signs up that is different from you. Sign-ups can be lopsided. That’s why we appreciate your flexibility. Although we try to give people their first preference for the first five conversations, sometimes we need to give them a second or third preference for type of conversation.

When signing up for the first five conversations, please rank your preference of conversations. You must rank at least two preferences, and we encourage you to rank all the conversations that apply to you. All five conversations are excellent! The vast majority of people are paired within a few days to three weeks.

Please note that if you sign up, you are making a commitment to take part in a conversation. You will be asked to provide an email address and phone number (cell phone if at all possible).

Step 3: Choose an Online Platform to Meet Together

Once we have paired you with a partner, please choose an online platform with which you are comfortable.

Many people are comfortable with Zoom. Here is a step-by-step guide which includes how to pick your device, download Zoom, handle audio and video, invite your conversation partner, and view the 1:1 conversation guide on screen, or watch this short video to learn how to start a Zoom meeting, invite your partner to join, and arrange Windows to see the conversation guide on screen.

Free, Basic Zoom meetings between 2 or more people are subject to a 40-minute time limit, so if you have access to a Pro or Business account, please use that. If not, here is a workaround that enables you to continue your conversation beyond 40 minutes.

Other online platforms include Google Meet, FaceTime, WhatsApp and Skype. It’s preferable that you see each other, so use a telephone only if other options don’t work. You two set the dates and times for your conversations.

Note: We pair people for online conversations. If you desire an in-person conversation, please find your own partner locally, listen to Bill Doherty’s audio introduction, and use the Braver Angels 1:1 conversation guide for whichever type of conversation you choose.

Step 4: Use the Designated Conversation Guide

It is mandatory to use the conversation guide for your particular 1:1 conversation. That’s what structures your conversation! Please have the guide in front of you during the conversation.

You can print out the conversation guide in advance (one guide contains both conversations when there are two) by clicking on the appropriate link: 1:1 Golden Rule; 1:1 Red/Blue; 1:1 Conversation Across Generations; 1:1 Rural/Urban; 1:1 Conversation About Race, Ethnicity or Culture; or 1:1 Conversation About Israeli-Palestinian Relations. Then click on File, Download as a Microsoft Word doc, and click on the file that appears in the bottom left-hand corner. Once the Word doc is open, click on File, then Print.

Step 5: Share Your Feedback!

After finishing your 1:1 Conversation, please complete this quick, confidential survey to share your feedback about your conversation. We dearly hope that you and your partner will continue to stay in touch with each other.

For 5 Conversation Types

For Golden Rule; Red/Blue; Urban/Rural; Conversation about Race, Ethnicity and Culture; and Conversation Across Generations, please sign up here.

Israeli-Palestinian Conversation Type

For the Israeli-Palestinian Relations Conversation, please sign up here.

FAQ

If I want to do a second type of conversation with someone else, should I fill out the sign-up form again?

Yes, we will pair you again provided you fill out the sign-up form again after you complete your first conversation. If you do not fall into one of the categories listed in the next paragraph, we can pair you for a maximum of two conversations. If you want more, please do find your own conversation partners. Exception: we will happily pair anyone for multiple 1:1 Golden Rule Conversations.

We especially encourage the following types of people to sign up for multiple conversations: Reds for a Red/Blue conversation; Rural/Small-town dwellers for a Rural/Urban conversation; 18-30 year olds for a Conversation Across Generations; and non-White people for a Conversation about Race, Ethnicity and Culture.

Are participants vetted?

We do not vet participants. We assume that those who sign up for these conversations do so in good faith. In the rare instance that someone we pair you with behaves in an utterly inappropriate manner, let us know at 1-1@braverangels.org so that we do not pair them with anyone else.

Optional Read: What is the Most Important Thing You Learned from your Conversation?

Check out what others have shared about their experiences!

Optional read: “He’s a southern conservative. She’s a midwestern-turned-east coast liberal. They can’t stop talking about politics” by Gabriella Timmis

Who can participate in 1:1 Conversations?

We pair adults 18 years and older via our sign-up form. Teachers and other secular or religious leaders are free to pair those under 18 with each other for 1:1 conversations using our conversation guides.

I am a College instructor. How can I get involved?

For college instructors interested in assigning 1:1 Conversations to students, please check out this 1-pager on how to get involved.
Here are reports that college students wrote about their 1:1 Conversations.

Is there a consolidated guide for a 1:1 Conversation?

Yes. This guide is designed for one in-person conversation of up to 75 minutes in length between two people.

What Should I Do If My Partner Isn't Following the Rules?

Occasionally a partner doesn’t follow the rules. You should react according to how this impacts you. For example, a partner may take longer than the time allotted to answer a question. This may not bother you. When both partners are amenable, conversations can run well over an hour. If you don’t have extra time, however, or you find the longwindedness troublesome, keep track of time using a stopwatch, and gently interrupt your partner when the time limit is reached.

If a partner asks questions that bother you and are not in the conversation guide, you can respond with humor, “Gosh, I didn’t see that question in the conversation guide” and “Please let’s stick to the questions we’re supposed to answer.” Any age difference between partners shouldn’t matter: a younger partner should feel as free to enforce the conversation guardrails as an older one.

If you feel your partner’s not following the rules has gotten too far out of hand, you can cut the conversation short: “For me it’s important to follow the rules, so this conversation just isn’t working out. Gotta run.” Please contact us at 1-1@braverangels.org if you think we should know about the problem.

I wish to spread the word about 1:1 Conversations! How can I help?

Tell your friends, relatives and acquaintances about Braver Angels 1:1 Conversations. If you wish, you can cut and paste the wording in this template into an email, revise and personalize it as desired, and email it to 5-10 others. We’re especially appreciative when you spread the word among conservatives, 18-30 year olds, non-White people, and rural/small town dwellers.