By Zaid Jilani, Greater Good Magazine
The 2002 film My Big Fat Greek Wedding resonated with millions of people around the world—it retains the title of the highest-grossing romantic comedy in history. Why? Perhaps because its central conflict is one that countless couples have endured.In the film, Greek-American Toula Portokalos falls in love with a non-Greek named Ian Miller. Ultimately, the couple overcomes this barrier and they happily wed. At the wedding, Toula’s father explains how he came to terms with the reality that his daughter would be part of an intercultural family.
This is an example of what social scientists call “superordinate identity”—a shared identity between groups that transcends the more narrow, particular identities that seem to divide them. Portokalos acknowledges that the two sides of the new family come from distinct and proud cultures—an apple and an orange—but that they also share a larger, superordinate identity in common: fruit! Toula and Ian can value the cultures they grew up in but also embrace a larger shared culture they will create with their new family.
Focusing on shared identities is a valuable way for people in diverse societies to bridge their differences without shedding or suppressing what makes them different in the first place. Doing so allows us to come together with people who we previously imagined we had nothing in common with—which research suggests can open the door to greater empathy and cooperation. Today, organizations like Braver Angels and Citizen University are putting these academic insights to work in trying to remind divided Americans what they have in common.
